Misha Dwivedi

#HappyNewYear - 15 NY Resolutions Every Proud Delhiite Should Embrace!

(Dis)claimer: The content of this article is based upon true incidents. This is not a work of fiction.

In ‘Dilwalon ki Dilli’, we truly wear our hearts on our sleeves, don’t we? A true blue local can be spotted from a mile off; the dialect, gluttony and “swag” are obvious tell-tales but there are certain quirks that have affected those who have spent a major part of their lives in this colourful city. You can take a Delhiite out of Delhi but you can never take Delhi out of a Dilliwallah! 

While we tend to create our own niche wherever we go, there are certain stereotypes that Delhizens have become infamous for. Appreciate some self-deprecating humour? Good. Let’s end the year with a look at some quintessentially desi New Year Resolutions:

1. DSLR khareed kar FB pe Deer Park/Hauz Khas Photography page nahi banaenge

This one’s for all those ‘photographers’ who buy a pro camera and never switch past the Auto mode! You’ll often find collages of their relatives on their page with some next level editing shiz. We’re talking eye roll-worthy rainbows and butterflies with maybe a Mercedes thrown in.

2. Apna iPhone 7 har insaan, kutte, billi ko (subtly) nahi dikhaenge

Sadar Bazaar or that rich US based uncle, regardless of where you got your latest toy from, whipping it out at the drop of a hat calls for a humility check. Give it a rest, guys.

3. Delhi NCR mein gediyan maar kar khud ko #Wanderlust #Instatraveller nahi kehlaenge

Attending gigs across Noida, Delhi and Gurgaon does not qualify as “I love travelling.”!! No, that is not a road trip either.

4. WhatsApp par zabardasti dots nahi chipkaenge

Misusing ellipses is not cool. Period. Wait, did you just Google ‘ellipses’? Dammit……

5. Sarojini hauls ko Zara ki End Of Season Sale nahi bataenge

Seriously? Ladies, you need to be proud of your killer bargaining skills and flaunt your hauls with élan! Sarojini FTW!

6. Starbucks ke cup par apne naam ki DP nahi lagaenge

This one has been done to death. Learn to let go! Unless your name happens to be Sonam Gupta :P

7. ATM ki line mein khade ho kar logon ko desh ka economic future nahi bataenge

As if the never-ending queue wasn’t enough, now we have to put up with peeps trying to act like financial experts with intel on the internal working of the RBI! Here’s a question- do you even vote bro?

8. AIB ke videos par Jantar Mantar pe dharna nahi bithaenge

Please don’t go on a hunger strike against this article.

9. Raat ko papa ki gaadi le ke India Gate pe Rang De Basanti nahi darshaenge

Now that’s a tough one. Rain checks allowed!

10. Cheeseburst Pizza ke saath Diet coke nahi mangaenge

A double cheese, double bacon sandwich with mint mayo…in brown bread? With extra fries? If you’re hogging with a vengeance, then there’s gotta be some collateral damage. Don’t fight it, bite it!

11. Metro rail ke darwaaze band hote samay, gaadi se utarne ya chadhne ka prayas nahi karenge

Also, peeli rekha ke picche khade rahenge.

12. Pollution masks pehen kar patakhe nahi bajaenge

Stop liking photo essays on Delhi’s rising pollution levels, maybe? 

13. Jhoothe Red Sauce Pasta pe Filters laga kar Food Blogger nahi bann jaenge

Sorry to break it to you but putting up some shots of half-eaten food to punctuate your ‘random’ selfies on Instagram does not count. Never did.

14. “Started working at Student” jaise updates duniya ko nahi dikhaenge

We can’t even… *report abuse*

15. Momo wale ka udhaar chukaenge

Every Delhiite has a friendly neighbourhood momowallah, no? Let’s wipe our overloaded tabs clean and start afresh in 2017! 

Needless to say, we're super proud of our roots! Happy New Year all you lovely people!