6 Bollywood Theater Releases In The First Half Of 2022 That Left Us Crying Over Wasted Money

The first half of 2022 has shocked (read: disappointed) us with movies that push the envelope when it comes to the collapse of creativity. Regardless, like the sentimental Bolly obsessed janta we are, we took it upon ourselves to painfully curate a list of the must NOT watch movies that we spent hours, tears, and money on in theatres which we are never getting back. Read on!

1. Bachchhan Paandey 

Picture Credits: PrimeVideoIN

If you read the title and audibly wondered, what? Then we totally get you. This movie starring Akshay Kumar and Kriti Sanon left the audience equally frustrated and wallowing in self-pity for even bothering to get in the car, drive to the theatre, buy the ticket, and then watch it. The premise of the movie might intrigue you- Myra decides to make her next movie about legendary hooligan Bachchhan Paandey in order to prosper in the film business. When the mobster decides to act in the movie, things become problematic. Fun right? The audience screams a booming NO. Some Google reviews like ‘Wahiyaat’ to straight up to announcing ‘it will make you regret your life’s purpose,’ have got us mumbling a hard relate under our breaths. The only thing memorable about our theatre experience was the aunty reading aloud her WhatsApp jokes beside us.

2. Shamshera  

Picture Credits: yrf

You don’t need us to tell you what went wrong with Shamshera, things got pretty clear when it made news headlines that theatres have had to cancel shows because they couldn’t fill up the seats. If Padmavat and Bahubali’s thematic VFX collided and gave birth to a child that could only babble Sunny Deol dialogues, this would be it. Not even Ranbir Kapoor’s star power could save, what felt like, a never-ending car crash in slow motion. We might just start a petition to install a Snooze Button on every seat in theatres and bang our heads on it the next time a movie release like this gets dropped, to save our fellow janta’s remaining brain cells. 

3. Ek Villain Returns   

Picture Credits: tarasutaria

Three words can sum up our experience of watching this sequel: dukh, dard, peeda. The decision to bunk our lectures and watch a movie that promises nothing good is the epitome of regret. If you don’t know what we’re talking about, the fact that someone in the front row sighed and said ‘Is this a horror movie?’ should more than drive home our point. Mohit Suri claims that it’s a psychological thriller but it was more of an act of psychological warfare… However, some banger songs (thank you, Ankit Tiwari) and John Abraham’s forearms more than made up for the lack of consistency in the plot. Our Letterboxd declares this movie a big 2.5/5 stars.  

4. Bhool Bhulaiyaa 2

Picture Credits: kartikaaryan

Bollywood is suffering from a curious case of ‘The Sequels,’ because yet again the plan to profit off an immensely cherished classic has gone down the drain. Bhool Bhulaiyaa 2’s trouble lies in its weak attempt to recreate the impact the OG cast had on the audience with their effortless humour and charisma. We were left scratching our heads with one after another plot twist, nothing genuinely scary, and some character’s existence that we are sure not even the director could explain. If we’re looking for a silver lining, it would definitely be the revamped groovy songs and Tabu being a total showstopper per usual.

5. Samrat Prithviraj 

Picture Credits: imdb

Second Akshay Kumar movie in this thread, we SWEAR there’s no agenda. Samrat Prithviraj is one which ended its box office szn with mixed reactions from the audience, while some had their frustrations about yet another Historical movie not living up to the standards of Bhansali and Rajamouli, others believed it was an important movie to put a spotlight on Prithviraj Chauhan’s life. The most talked about thing was the revisitation of the ol’ love trope which left many describing it as a ‘college play with unfurnished start and finish.’ 

6. Dhaakad 

Picture Credits: kanganaranaut

Dhaakad had initially caught the eyes of many as it’s rare for Bollywood movies to give actresses the leading role, specifically in an action film- and in an ideal situation, it would be something worth celebrating if the screenplay, agonising storyline, and dull soundtrack didn’t result in 2 hours worth of boredom. The action sequences are hard to digest because it makes less for intrigue and more for pure comedy. TBH, there’s not much we can recall except thinking that even the worst of Nolan is better than the best of Dhaakad. Arjun Rampal and Divya Dutta were the light at the end of the tunnel, for sure.

8 months into the opening of theatres and these are the movies that have left a lasting impression on the audience, good or bad, you decide!